"Mom, you are my superhero."

As mothers, we often feel like we lose pieces of ourselves in the process of raising our children. Many times I find myself questioning if what I'm doing with my son right. I find myself guilty of many things that I wish I can change-- things like maybe I should not have gotten out with the girls for a movie, because I lost two hours of time that I could have spent with him, or I should not have given him that piece of candy today; it will affect his teeth.

So often, we think we do not have it under control: we cry, laugh, cry, call a best friend for advice, laugh again, call a mother for advice, call a sister for advice-- we think we could be better-- We go out to gatherings to visit family and friends and get so bothered when they throw a fit or insist on having it their way in front of them.

When we spend some time on our phones and feel so terribly about it, because we should have spent more time doing something like finger painting or read a story.

Peoples' judgements of our children make it worse for many of us. We feel like we can never meet up to expectations, and ironically most judgments come from women who have grown kids and have perhaps forgotten that they also raised kids. And many times also, it is from people with no kids who simply can not understand that not all children are alike.

Thinking you lost yourself as an individual is common but not many women admit it because, in some way, women feel less of mothers when they admit that motherhood can be really difficult, especially in our time.

Perhaps you don't have it completely under control; you are right, and that is totally okay. I think as a mother, I need to remind constantly myself that my kid is a kid, and I cannot, in any way, mold him into a society whose expectation of children is always to behave perfectly. I assure myself and assure you that it is okay for him to make a mess sometimes, turn the vacuum on (which currently he is doing when I specifically said no). It is okay that you just get completed exhausted and need a break. It is okay that you need your "me time." I'm also teaching myself that it is okay to ask family or friends for help.

Many times people who have mutual responsibilities are most that can understand you, so when you need a lift after a hard day, call your friend and say," Hey, I'm really tired, can you babysit today?" Or," Hey, I need advice, what did you do when..." It is okay to feel tired, to admit you are tired, many times admitting it may help you hear," me too!"

I think common misconceptions about motherhood, which I'm also so guilty of, is that we so often think we lose pieces of ourselves. In reality, we never lose pieces of ourselves, we just pass them on to our children and in many times, they blossom right back at us when they hug us after a long day, kiss us when we are crying, tap on our backs when they think we are choking.

You didn't lose you! You are still you and when you think you've lost you again, remember you will always have him to remind you how beautiful and complete you are even when you don't feel it.